If you ever loved an animal, there are three days in your life
you will always remember...
 |
| Day One |
The first is blessed with happiness when you bring your new
dog home. You may have spent weeks
deciding which one. You may have asked numerous opinions of many friends, or
done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you
may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simply because
something in their eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that dog home
and watch her explore, and claim her special place in your hall or front
room--and when you feel her brush against you for the first time--it instills a
feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.
 |
| Day Two |
The second day will occur eight, nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and
unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your beloved dog
and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow, deliberate steps where
you once saw energy. And you will see
sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's
diet--and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within
yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy
feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives. Martin
Scot Kosins
Dutchess was born over 13 years ago. She was the most
entertaining and active dog I have ever seen other than Abbie. I remember the very day Dutchess came into our lives and all the things she got into, and it was everything. She would barge through anything to get to a
ball or Frisbee and run like the wind through the woods, and she had to be
first, always. For the last six months, she has slept more and done fewer things
when we're out by the lake or taking a walk.
I have noticed that when we do something that she loved
to do before, she will sit and watch.
She seemed interested in doing it, but she just doesn't have it in
her. It breaks my heart because I
remember the galvanizing she did which was something to see. You don't notice the changes that come over
them until it is quite noticeable and then that fear comes over you, and you
say, "gosh, I see some gray," and after that, your outlook for them
is a little different because death is always hovering in the shadow of a dog.
 |
| Dutchess |
When Abbie was sick, I knew she needed some alone time with
me, and while I would feed the other dogs in the kennel, I would not let Abbie
in her stall. While all of the dogs stand in
front of there door and go in when I open it, Abbie was last, and she knew what
was coming, and I would look at her raise my eyebrows and look at the door, and
I will never forget that look of excitement in her eyes and on her face. Abbie would turn a circle and run out the
door searching for a ball which she always found. It was our time that I cherish and will never
forget. After playing and getting in the
water, she would settle in my lap while I sat on the ground and her heart raced
a thousand times a minute. She was happy
but tired, and so was I but I knew what was coming.
 |
| Abbie |
This week, I did the same thing with Dutchess, we don't play Frisbee as much as we did, but
Dutchess found the top of a five-gallon bucket.
She slowly brought it to me and laid it by my feet, she wanted to play. I picked it up and gave it a little toss, and
everyone swooped in on it, but, Dutchess was last and never saw it again, the top and dogs were gone. Off they ran, and Dutchess was standing next to me, bewildered and disappointed. I eventually put the top of the bucket up but remembered my time with
Abbie. That evening all the dogs were
kenneled up for dinner, and Dutchess was standing next to me. While she loves her food, she loves her
Frisbee more. I looked at her, looked at
the door and said, "get your Frisbee." She stumbled when she tried to turn but recovered,
and out the door, we went. Grabbing a
Frisbee, those eyes were as clear as glass as she watched me carry it. I let her carry it to a clearing, and she
dropped it at my feet, just like the old days except them, if I didn't move
fast enough, she would grab it and place it closer to me or on top of my shoes,
this night, she waited for me. We
started with little throws and did a few longer tosses. Dutchess was in Heaven, and I saw a happy dog, she was at peace, but I was crying inside. She does not have the finesse she once had,
but she tried. After a few tumbles I
decided it was enough, I don't want to press her luck.
 |
| Tired Girl |
Dutchess slept well that night, but I did give her a pain
reliever because I knew she was sore and would be that way in the morning. Things went well for a few days, and I was up
in the office doing some paperwork.
Dutchess who believes that "we" humans are on this earth for her, has
always barked if she wanted inside. If
you don't let her in, she will not stop barking so you might as well get up and
follow her wishes. When I got to the
sliding glass door, Dutchess was sitting and looking for me inside the door. She was turning her head from side to side trying to see inside, and when I got close to the
door, in front of her lay a Frisbee, she wanted to play. She was not barking to come inside, she was telling me to come outside. I went out with her, and for a short time we did play, and she was happy. As we walked back and
passed my workbench, I noticed the Frisbee we had used earlier in the week. "Where did you get this one," I ask,
and with those Lauren Bacall eyes, I knew.
All over this farm, there are tennis balls and Frisbees hidden by the
dogs, and I would imagine this Frisbee is one that Abbie had stashed for emergencies.
The third most important day of your life with a dog is
next. We seldom think about it but it
coming, and it's coming with a vengeance. You will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night. If you are
wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if
you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or
friends will be able to understand your grief or be able to comfort you, this
will be the hardest day of your life.
Next week's story will be one I have pondered for years. Ken
