 |
| Not Me... |
With
having nine dogs that live in our house and three floors to clean, Elaine wants a vacuum
cleaner on each floor. To me, it is
pretty simple to carry one to the needed location, but I do understand not really. Therefore, we have three vacuum cleaners to
make her life more comfortable. Last
week, one went out, and after years of dedicated service, it just quit
working. It was an excellent product, but they lived a life of misery and neglect. It
may have been because it was never emptied, and you can only get so much dirt
and dog hair in it. Several times, I was
summoned to help because it "just wasn't working." Kenny came to the rescue, and after taking the hoses apart and removing the beast's underbelly, removing the circular tubes of hair clogging all the hoses, it seemed to work fine again. "You know you must empty the container, don't you?" "Sure" was always her answer.
Last
week one vacuum cleaner finally bit the dust, so a hunt for a new vacuum cleaner was
started. One day I was summoned to the
TV area where the best vacuum cleaner in the world was playing on an
infomercial, and it did EVERYTHING. If
you act today, you also get a Floor Steam Cleaner. "Do we really need this?" I asked,
and the answer was, of course, "YES."
Several days later, it arrived.
It was beautiful and what we always needed. The heavens opened when we took it out of the box, and a Shark Rotator, Powered Lift-Away, and TruePet Vacuum appeared. It gets no better than this!
The day finally arrived, and the new beast was plugged in. as I went outside to do some chores, the smile on Elaine's face was breathtaking. As I walked outside, life was good. Elaine soon walked out of the back door,
"Can you come here? I think I have a problem!" Being in this spot before, I
know this is either a really big or a tiny problem. OMG, what did you do! Dear Mark Rosenzweig, Chief Executive Officer of
Shark International. I have a problem...
I
went to the scene of the crime where our decorative carpet was white, was
now brown, and the smell was quite strong, to say the least.
"What happened, trying to keep a low voice!" I ask, "I didn't see it, and It came out
of nowhere." The scene appeared to be a crime scene with the amount of destruction thrust upon my
eyes. After further investigation into
the massacre at the crime scene, "someone" had deposited a butt nugget, and it
was run over by our brand new, just out-of-the-box Shark Rotator Powered
Lift-Away, TruePet Vacuum cleaner and smeared the soft butt biscuit across the
white carpet. Rather than clean the rug,
it appeared that it was painted with a roller filled with Rocky Road ice
cream. Now, we all have faced an occasional "accident," but it rarely happens here, and I mean rarely, and to think it happened when Elaine took out her brand-new Shark Rotator Powered Lift-Away TruePet Vacuum cleaner that had never been used.
This
is not a problem at all, just turn it over and wipe down the powerhead and
voilà, good as new... Hey, it is new, brand new! Once I turned the powerhead over, things went into the depths of Hades, and I was standing with the devil. "Houston, we
have a problem, a big problem."
With fire in my eyes, smoke escaping from my ears and horns shooting out
of my head, I turned to Elaine and said.
"Sweetheart, could you NOT see that little brown mound on the
carpet?" with a big smile. "I don't know, I was busy thinking about what else I can buy; any way you can fix it, I know you can; you're the man."
So out to the driveway I went with our brand-new Shark Rotator Powered Lift-Away, TruePet Vacuum cleaner, and a scowl on my face. First thing first, take it apart, I thought.
I got the cordless screwdriver and removed the moving parts, including
the duel beater bar and the Robot Side Brushes, Soft Velvet Brushroll, Floor
Nozzle hose, Foal, and Felt filter, and every piece that had never been used
until today. The poop sausage was the
perfect texture to stick to everything, including dog hair that was also
entwined in the butt brownie on every moving part. After working on it for an hour, I got the
water hose out and power washed the butt cookie as far away as I could push it with the sprayer, but not
before releasing the chocolate hostage out of the small crevice areas. It couldn't be worse, and I had to use my fingers.
After
cleaning it up as best as possible, I placed all the unassembled parts in the sun
to dry, hoping the electrical components would work again. After they were thoroughly dried, I
reassembled the Shark Rotator Powered Lift-Away, TruePet Vacuum cleaner back
together, and broke out in a sweat when I turned it on. Miracles upon miracles, it did turn on, and as I started across the floor, Elaine, in her cute ways, said, "Want me to finish up?" "no, that's ok, I got it, but
thanks." I wonder if it was planned? Ken
This
is a true story, every word is accurate...
