This Week

Sunday

The Second Day...

If you ever loved an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember...

Day One

The first is blessed with happiness when you bring your new dog home. You may have spent weeks deciding which one. You may have asked numerous opinions of many friends, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in their eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that dog home and watch her explore, and claim her special place in your hall or front room--and when you feel her brush against you for the first time--it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.

Day Two

The second day will occur eight, nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your beloved dog and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow, deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives. Martin Scot Kosins

Dutchess was born over 13 years ago. She was the most entertaining and active dog I have ever seen other than Abbie. I remember the very day Dutchess came into our lives and all the things she got into, and it was everything. She would barge through anything to get to a ball or Frisbee and run like the wind through the woods, and she had to be first, always. For the last six months, she has slept more and done fewer things when we're out by the lake or taking a walk.

I have noticed that when we do something that she loved to do before, she will sit and watch. She seemed interested in doing it, but she just doesn't have it in her. It breaks my heart because I remember the galvanizing she did which was something to see. You don't notice the changes that come over them until it is quite noticeable and then that fear comes over you, and you say, "gosh, I see some gray," and after that, your outlook for them is a little different because death is always hovering in the shadow of a dog.

Dutchess

When Abbie was sick, I knew she needed some alone time with me, and while I would feed the other dogs in the kennel, I would not let Abbie in her stall. While all of the dogs stand in front of there door and go in when I open it, Abbie was last, and she knew what was coming, and I would look at her raise my eyebrows and look at the door, and I will never forget that look of excitement in her eyes and on her face. Abbie would turn a circle and run out the door searching for a ball which she always found. It was our time that I cherish and will never forget. After playing and getting in the water, she would settle in my lap while I sat on the ground and her heart raced a thousand times a minute. She was happy but tired, and so was I but I knew what was coming.

Abbie

This week, I did the same thing with Dutchess, we don't play Frisbee as much as we did, but Dutchess found the top of a five-gallon bucket. She slowly brought it to me and laid it by my feet, she wanted to play. I picked it up and gave it a little toss, and everyone swooped in on it, but, Dutchess was last and never saw it again, the top and dogs were gone. Off they ran, and Dutchess was standing next to me, bewildered and disappointed. I eventually put the top of the bucket up but remembered my time with Abbie. That evening all the dogs were kenneled up for dinner, and Dutchess was standing next to me. While she loves her food, she loves her Frisbee more. I looked at her, looked at the door and said, "get your Frisbee." She stumbled when she tried to turn but recovered, and out the door, we went. Grabbing a Frisbee, those eyes were as clear as glass as she watched me carry it. I let her carry it to a clearing, and she dropped it at my feet, just like the old days except them, if I didn't move fast enough, she would grab it and place it closer to me or on top of my shoes, this night, she waited for me. We started with little throws and did a few longer tosses. Dutchess was in Heaven, and I saw a happy dog, she was at peace, but I was crying inside. She does not have the finesse she once had, but she tried. After a few tumbles I decided it was enough, I don't want to press her luck.

Tired Girl

Dutchess slept well that night, but I did give her a pain reliever because I knew she was sore and would be that way in the morning. Things went well for a few days, and I was up in the office doing some paperwork. Dutchess who believes that "we" humans are on this earth for her, has always barked if she wanted inside. If you don't let her in, she will not stop barking so you might as well get up and follow her wishes. When I got to the sliding glass door, Dutchess was sitting and looking for me inside the door. She was turning her head from side to side trying to see inside, and when I got close to the door, in front of her lay a Frisbee, she wanted to play. She was not barking to come inside, she was telling me to come outside. I went out with her, and for a short time we did play, and she was happy. As we walked back and passed my workbench, I noticed the Frisbee we had used earlier in the week. "Where did you get this one," I ask, and with those Lauren Bacall eyes, I knew. All over this farm, there are tennis balls and Frisbees hidden by the dogs, and I would imagine this Frisbee is one that Abbie had stashed for emergencies.

The third most important day of your life with a dog is next. We seldom think about it but it coming, and it's coming with a vengeance. You will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief or be able to comfort you, this will be the hardest day of your life.

Next week's story will be one I have pondered for years. Ken

It's never the same...

As time passes and things change, I believe you change your habits and avoid the oblivious because things really never change, you just push them around in your mind and for a while, they get lost in all the clutter. This week is Abbie’s Birthday and like some thoughts, I have pushed it back into a small compartment in my brain but my brain it is filling up with small boxes. I believe it is our safety mechanism to not think about unpleasant things but certain days, they are forced into the forefront. Abbie would have been 11 years old this week and until I thought about it, I was OK and I only thought about the “pleasant” days but today, just like the day she died, it’s something I won’t ever forget.

Abbie, her Father Clancy, and Mother Molly are together, it will never be the same...

As a dog parent, you move on to other things to keep your mind busy when you lose your beloved pet. When my dogs were young, it’s something I never thought of, never. How could they leave me, we’re buddies forever and ever, never to part, but things happen and with some, you may see they gray creep in and others, they are gone in a flash. With Abbie, I died a thousand deaths, every day was the last day for her in my mind and I always hoped for another and for nearly 3 years while she was fighting cancer, I got my wish for more time, but that day came, it's always because death is always hovering in the shadow of a dog.

Her last day on this earth

In the photo, she is laying on her father's grave as I dug her grave next to him.

As I remember Abbie’s life, I remember the wonderful ways she was, my protector, my ball of energy and my confidante and cohort. Usually 90 percent of the time, she had a ball in her mouth and was wet. She was always full of energy to the point it was aggravating and annoying but, oh how I wish I could toss her a Frisbee right now.

As I celebrate all of my dogs’ birth, I also remember the day they died. I remember the good life we had and the fun and excitement we shared. I will also walk the steps of their life in my mind and I will actually walk the path we shared on the day of their death. It’s bittersweet to be able to remember the first time you saw them and even more, to travel back in time to the last day you were together.

No, it’s never the same and never will be, you can kid yourself and other people will tell you that things will get better but it doesn’t, maybe for some but not me. All I can do is keep the good memories in front of the ones that are bad but eventually, they creep in and you live that exact moment they are gone again…

We’re all are in the same place if you have lost a dog, but celebrate them and the things you did with them, never feel guilty because of the “should of's or could of's” we could have done. To them, it’s enough that you loved them, had a gentle hand for them and loved them with all your heart and not how many times you threw a Frisbee but make no mistake, it will never be the same when they are gone. As I pain so much because of her death, I celebrate her life and our relationship together. Happy Birthday, Abbie Dabby Doo... Ken

Spring is headed our way...

Spring is here

Spring is my favorite time of year, the grass starts to grow, the days get longer, the lake gets warm (but it never makes a difference to the dogs) the mud dries up and most importantly the mower starts again. During the winter months, not much machinery runs for various reasons but summertime is game on for the equipment. Once the season starts, the dogs think that every time I walk out the back door and walk to the pole barn, it’s only for their sole pleasure. Just walking in that direction starts the excitement. If they are laying or sitting anywhere in the vicinity, their eyes get big, ears perk up, prancing is everywhere and some ever start to bark. Some will take off running and jumping the ornamental fence even if the gate is open just because they can. The others will run nearly 30 feet and stop and wait but barking all the time. Whether it’s the tractor, Gater, chain saw, blower or lawnmower, if it goes varoom-varoom, it means to start running, and they don’t know where, just somewhere.

Somedays are not good...

As we all know it can be dangerous. Years ago, one of our first dogs “Max” was running alongside our neighbor’s 4-wheeler and he got so excited, he turned the wrong way and they ran directly over him, they sped to our house and Max followed and he was good as gold. They were so apologetic, but everything was fine, and Max wanted more. If I cut grass, they will lay a ball or a stick in front of the mower so I will have to stop and play and I will tell you, there are times when I don’t see the ball and boy does it fly across the yard if I run over it. I’m sure they have figured it out and think I drive a big ball launcher and it is their personal toy. The thing that worries me the most is when they run through the woods during the first of the season. They will weave in and out of the trees, not really watching the trail ahead, only each other and I can’t imagine the processing that is going through their brain in milliseconds. “Just be careful kids” is always on my mind and shouted it at times but nothing can break them from running and having a good time.

This Saturday afternoon, I ask Elaine to help me with straightening up my office, just to “start” the process and assist getting a handle on it. I have things in piles and drawers that need some organization with lots of catching up with Clancy’s Dream. I found my first digital camera in the bottom of a drawer that was a whopper and when I opened the battery cast it had corroded because of the old batteries. Just as I raised it up to throw it in the trash can, I thought I need to check for the memory card. Low and behold, there was one in the camera and when I looked at it, they don’t make that size anymore, so I tossed the camera back in the trash. As I continued to clean out the drawer, I found the adaptor to download the information on the camera. First, the computer would not recognize the card and I had nothing but trouble, but I was now captivated. After many attempts, I finally got it to open and download…

I was shocked and dumbfounded because I found 19 photos and 3 videos which are priceless to me that I never saw. They were 15 years old and it is the only video I have of it…if I only knew then what I know now…

We all rush around and overlook the things that are really important to us and miss the things that really matter, and I am at the front of the line with this and if anyone should listen, it needs to be me.

When I saw the video, I actually gasped and then a tear ran down my cheek and whenever I watch it, it still happens. Oh, how things have changed.

You see, the real things are free and nothing or no-one can buy happiness or peace of mind and if you try, the more you spend the deeper in life’s debt you get. We worry about what others think, we worry about what they say and what they think of us and what really matters is what makes us happy and should care less about their concerns and take care of our inner self. The best vacation we ever took was a cross country trip for three weeks and it was free except for the gas and food and we even carried a cooler and ate out of the back seat and it was majestic. We saw all the sights and out of the “100 places in America” to see, we saw eighty-nine of them, and I would go again tomorrow if possible and it was free. In hindsight, every planned vacation was expensive, and we always came back more stressful than when we left.

Henry David Thoreau: "Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."

The short and only video portrays our first dogs that were “free to a good home” and they brought to us so much happiness. What started out as a lap companion for Elaine and deer-chaser for the farm, turned us into what we are today. I can’t even imagine where we would be right now if either one of these events did not happen…. Funny how this stuff works… I’ve always said that “when you throw a rock into a pond, the ripples may be subtle, but they can last forever.” And they usually do. As I’ve said before, because of Max, our life, the lives of others, our children and children of our pup owners have and will be changed because of “free to a good home.”

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Max, our first Border Collie

The camera was discarded nearly 15 years ago and was nearly thrown in the garbage twice, but something made me check it and because I did, I was swooped back years into a simple time that shaped my life forever. Look around and see what you might be missing, it just might be priceless, I know I now have. Thanks, Max and Lilly… Ken

Friday

Rocky...

In August of 2015, I got an urgent call; someone found a dog and made a desperate call to the national “Blind Dog Rescue Alliance,” who contacted a Border Collie Rescue in New York who contacted a friend who contacted me with the following message… We need help!

Rocky

A dog has several issues described from the caretaker to the rescues, he was;

Abandoned in a neighborhood

Fell off a retaining wall into a yard and was injured

He was terrified and ended up running into the brick wall.

Front paws look torn open.

May have been beaten.

He is limping

His fur is matted

No shots or Heartworm medication

They are desperate

He is not housebroken, or leash trained.

Please help; we are hoping for rescue, we cannot keep him

but and he is Blind

“He is very sweet” was the last comment from the caretaker who found him, and he was hurt from falling off a retaining wall nearly six feet off the ground. The person who found him also contacted their local Vet for help and to see if anyone recognized him and reached out to everyone, but no one came forward. Once I got the caretaker's contact, I sent an email to inquire about him to see if we could help.

If I have learned anything about finding good homes for dogs, it can be tough at times and nearly impossible to find that right home, even for the perfect dog. “Do I want to get into this,” I thought, and “am I going to have another dog?” I knew from the get-go that this was a hard one, probably impossible, and I did have doubts and concerns, but this guy needed help.

A date was set for him to be transported to a Veterinary in Louisville for his shots/tests and surgery. I drove to Louisville and met the caretaker and Rocky at the Vets office. The family was wonderful and had their children with them who were very fond of Rocky, and I noticed a few tears from the kids during their last goodbye.

He is a beautiful dog, perfectly marked for a border collie, but he was very nervous and scared. “Can I help him?” I said under my breath as I looked at this broken, handicapped, and scared dog. Because he was blind and he needed to go to the surgery prep area, I picked him up, held him close but noticed he leaned his head into my chest for comfort as we walked to the surgery area. After the surgery, I drove back to Indiana thinking about the problems that may arise, the biggest one that came to mind… Where will he live?

That night I added a post to my Facebook page hoping for just one inquiry, someone who could care for him, love him, and give him a chance to live but also help him see through his blind eyes. His outlook was dreary at best. The following day, I went to the computer and punched up my Facebook account, hoping for one inquiry but expected nothing. Our Facebook was on fire; I had nearly thirty-five thousand “likes” and “shares,” something I had never seen. Hundreds of messages were sent, even to my Gmail account, but why? After starting to read them, they were inquiries about Rocky; people wanted him! After answering what I could, I started making a list of people I checked out that seemed like a good match. I was very upfront about his disability because he needed a loving/caring, and knowledgeable home that understood blindness and how to care for him, which might still be hard.

Several months before Rocky came into my life, a family was looking for a second dog to be a companion for their senior dog and had planned to pick up a dog at our farm. On that very day, the wife was involved in an automobile accident, and plans were drastically changed and put on hold. After she recouped for what seemed like a long time, she saw a notice about an available dog on our Facebook page, was this meant to be? I tried to stress the trials and potential problems of having a dog with these special needs. She explained to me that she worked with children and adults that are blind and worked with service dogs. “Why wouldn’t I want a blind dog?” Rocky was cleared to go to his new home that following Saturday.

Nilla And Rocky meet again at the Rainbow Bridge.

Rocky was the joy of their life and traveled in the front seat of their Motor Home and was not now scared to move, and he has developed into a confident dog that is truly happy with his companions.

Rocky, Guinness, and Bear, this was their last trip together.

Several days ago, I received this; “Say a prayer for Rocky; he isn’t doing well. It’s hard that we aren’t home, but I’m glad we are all together, and my Mom is with us. Hoping and praying he will come out of it overnight but suspect he is slipping away.” Later that night, Rocky and Nilla were reunited and are running pain-free over the Rainbow Bridge. Guinness and Bear, their other dogs, are going to miss their brother greatly.

Rocky was a bling dog with countless health and physical issues and overcame all of them with the help of his human parents and Bear, who is another blind dog along with Guinness, all from Clancy’s Dream. He was a great Motor Home companion and always traveled with them to faraway places. This particular trip was Bear's first one with the crew and Rocky’s last one. He was cremated in Gulf Shores, Alabama, and brought home and will be buried on their farm, forever with them.

Rocky took "His" spot in the Motor Home for his final journey back home.

From my point of view, you have to wonder how all the pieces are put together to make so many complicated issues so simple. Look at all the obstacles that were involved with Rocky, but because love, attention, and companionship overpowered the bad, Rocky, Bear, and Guinness have lived and are living a wonderful life. Don’t think we are in control; higher powers are always at play, and the love for each other and our pets can overcome many obstacles if we would just listen; Unbeknownst to me, Clancy's Dream was already in the works; a year before Clancy died... Ken

“With great love comes great heartbreak.” Katie and Brian Crawford

Rest in Peace, Rocky. 3-17-2019

After Rocky had passed, I contacted the caretaker who found him years ago and told her the news.

"Thank you so much for finding him the best home! Also, thank you for letting me know about him! I was just telling a lady I work with about him last week & have been wanting to reach out to you to see how he’s doing. It’s sad that he died, but so heartwarming to know that he had a great life for the past couple of years!!! I very much appreciate all you’ve done!!!"