"Does your dog jump in the water?" the kids ask. Inside my head, I was grinning, and I secretly said to myself, "Just watch." We had our church group over for a day of fun and fellowship on a Saturday, and so far, it has been a fantastic day by the lake with friends. I tossed a ball into the water, and off the diving board, he jumped, having a ball, just like Clancy had done thousands of times before.
As kids will be kids, "Can he do it again?" they ask, and after a couple of more throws, he got out of the water and took two steps; he wavered and fell over. Elaine was only 3 feet away and immediately went to the ground to help him. I was on the dock and ran to them from no more than 20 feet away. As I grabbed him, his body felt like a bag of marbles and was unresponsive, with no heartbeat and dilated pupils. After CPR and every attempt to regain his life, I said the words I never ever wanted to say. "He's gone." "Nooooooooooooooooo" Elaine cried as she bent over to hug our dog, "This can't be," but it was. In the blink of an eye, our life as we knew it had forever changed, and things on the farm would never be the same.
I gently gathered his body into my arms, with Elaine and other friends falling in behind me. I carried his lifeless body from the lake to the dog kennel, where I placed him carefully down on a quilt Elaine had acquired and spread out on the floor. Very few words were spoken, and I knew what I needed to do. Saying nothing, I went to the tool shed and grabbed a shovel and pick-ax, and went hunting for "his" spot.
Several years before Clancy's death, I woke up from a sound sleep, sat straight up in bed, and said out loud, "Where will we bury them?" I had a dream that one of the dogs had passed, and I didn't know where to bury them, and then I asked myself, "Where will we bury any of them? It has to be special!" It was a very distressing dream, and no decision was made until that fateful Saturday when we had to make it. I walked down that long road no one ever wants to travel and arrived at a beautiful place near the front gate, but inside the fence —a place he is familiar with, one that everyone passes by several times a day, where he will always be close to us."
As I put the shovel to the ground, some of the men from our church group walked up and asked if there was anything they could do, and I said, "There are more shovels in the shed." Not lifting my eyes, they got them, and we started. said, "The only condition is that when we are finished, you need to leave," and they agreed and understood why. In my mind, Clancy's life was racing before me with every shovel full of dirt I scooped, and I didn't want to stop because I knew what was coming next, and I would never lay my eyes on my "Clancy Man' again.
With the task completed and handshakes shared with turned-down eyes, our friends quickly and quietly left without a word. I walked to the kennel where he was, and Elaine was lying down with him, holding him in the comfort of her arms. It's time," I said, "just a few more minutes," she whispered. I went to the cabinet to get a brush, scissors, and nail trimmers to prepare him for his last trip. I brushed him out, stroked his beautiful face, and tied one of my bandannas around his neck. We looked at each other, then back at him, and wordlessly decided he was ready. Two more tasks needed to be done. I cut a lock of hair from his white collar and clipped his nails for the final time, placing them in a plastic bag and zipping it closed. If we outlive all of our pets, the hair will be divided between Elaine and me and buried with us when we pass on.
I gathered him in his blanket, cradling him in my arms, and Elaine and I walked together, along with all of our dogs, to "his" new forever spot. t was fitting to carry him once again, as we did when we got him 10 years ago. s a puppy, we carried him to his first home here at the farm, and now I was carrying him to his final home. lancy was still wet from his swimming and even had some dirt on his feet. t's just like he liked to be and very suitable. He died proud, doing the things he loved. lowly, I lowered him to his new home, and after he was wrapped entirely in his blanket, one last look and kiss was made, "Goodbye, Clancy Man, We love you." Every one of our other dogs watched and sniffed him and was allowed to say goodbye to their leader, friend, lover, and playmate. uried with him were his tennis ball, Frisbee, and two broken hearts that will never mend. I can't believe it" was said a thousand times… "It will never be the same…" Digging his grave, I developed a blister on my hand and would find myself touching it for weeks just to remember. Slowly, it went away, and I was disappointed because that was the last physical evidence that I had of him.
As I pulled up to our farm gate the next day, I looked for Clancy. e always heard us from the house and would run down our lane to meet us, taking his usual shortcut through the woods and then riding back with us to the house in the car. ainfully, that day, there was no Clancy, and the shortcut that he always took was where his grave was. Clancy has gone away, and life is not the same; the greatest gift that you can give us is just to speak his name. I need to hear your stories and the tales of days gone by; I need you to understand that these memories must last, for this is all we have. He'll never make more memories since he's no longer here, so when you say "Clancy" to me, it's music to our soul, and I know he's not gone…
I find solace sitting in the woods at Clancy's gravesite. t began with just his grave, which evolved into a peaceful place of comfort and reflection. t now has a bench, two Adirondack Chairs, one small table, and his two tombstones, which appeared at our house just a few days after his death, courtesy of people who loved him. We find ourselves going to see him every day just to sit, and I ponder our life and, in my mind's eye, wonder what is next. he dogs will always go and sit with us, acting on their best behavior; some will sit near his grave, and most will sniff it as if saying hello to him. It's beautiful under the tall trees, and when the sun is shining, the open tree canopy allows sunlight to shine on his grave. Very near are his new wind chimes that tinkle when we have a slight breeze, and I would like to think he is talking to me, but I also know that anyone who knew him will hear him speak too, as, for me, I hear him daily. Rest well, my "Clancy Man." We are who we are because of you! Until we meet again and write our next chapter. Clancy James was named after me, but he belonged to Elaine and was her heart dog too.
Clancy James was a born leader, and he demonstrated it many times. Every dog followed him, and most humans admired his skills. The very morning Clancy passed away, he crept into my bed, burrowing his nose under my arm, falling asleep. As I watched him breathe and rubbed his head, he slept peacefully and dreamed… I wonder what he dreamed; did he know this was his last day? One hot day many years ago, I was with my Dad working on a project, and out of nowhere, he said, "I'm ready to go." I asked if I could take him home, and he said, "No," but also said, "I'm ready to go to Heaven." I laughed, and in 2 hours, he went to Heaven and passed in front of me.
If you knew Clancy, he touched all of us in one way or another. I cried more than I did for my parents when they passed; I felt helpless and in a fog, not knowing what to do. Some days are better than others, but just when I feel better, something... anything takes me back to that day and the pain. Living in a dog world, I have learned that if I have seen and heard anything, it is the grief that many people have shared with me about losing their beloved pets. Even though my pain and heartache are enormous to me, it is no worse or more significant than yours when you lose your pet. We just have something in common, and only we will always be able to understand that horrible pain we share.
"Where will we bury them?" The question that was unanswered for several years has now been answered with a prominent place here at the farm. It is laid out and arranged with Clancy at the head, and his mates will be buried around him as time dictates. A granite memorial was placed at the entrance of our gravesite for the new owners someday who will live here when we are gone, that reads;
When that time comes, and if you need a place for your pet and want them to be buried under the tall trees, where the sun shines through an open canopy with wind chimes that sing with the breeze, your pet is welcome. have several shovels and will lovingly help you as I was helped. Together, we can give them a special place to be by the sides of our dogs, and we can sit together in the Adirondack Chairs and talk about the best dogs in the world...
As I walked from Clancy's grave the day after his unexpected death, I said out loud through tears, "I didn't want this to happen, there has to be more" I remember the exact spot on the driveway when I turned back to look and said again, "I want him to live forever…somehow" as I knew this is impossible, there has got to be a way to do this. Clancy had National and International lineage and had sired many offsprings in his life and will live for many, many years, but they too shall pass. There has to be more, and there is…
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| Clancy with one of our last litters; some are asleep under him. |
For many years, we have worked with Border Collies in need because they are a special and unique breed. Most people are unaware of what they are getting into, especially if it's their first dog, and there has been little research done on Border Collies. I've said many times to prospective owners, "They demand, literally require, lots of attention and lots of activity. If you don't have the time or energy to devote to the dog, don't get it. There are better choices; it will be the best decision or the worst decision of your life and for the life of the dog.
Working in a Veterinarian's office, I often saw cases where drastic decisions were made for the pet because the owner could not afford the treatment the dog required to survive. Hearts were broken, and lives were changed because the owner saw no other option than to put the dog down. Knowing what I have seen and what Elaine and I have done, it seemed like a perfect fit to reach out and help dogs receive the best care possible, and to help even more with BCs that need rehabilitation and rescue.
A road trip nearly to the Canadian Border was made to help a BC in need. t was to rescue a 14-month-old female Border Collie who had been in seven homes and had been shuffled around a few times. Once at the farm, both Elaine and I quickly discovered that she is a true sweetheart.
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| Luna just needs a chance. |
If Clancy's Dream had not stepped in to pick her up, chances are Luna would have gone back to another shelter, or someone would have taken advantage of a "free to good home" dog, possibly to be used for something very evil.
Where does Clancy come into this picture, you ask? I spoke with Elaine, and we agreed that there is more work to be done by our Clancy. I spoke to our veterinarian's office on Monday after his death, and there is a real need for this, according to them, more than we know. Clancy's Dream" went from an idea to a conversation with a registered nonprofit corporation just ten days after his death. A Board of Directors has come together to form a much-needed resource for other BC owners to keep my boy's memory alive. We hold a 501 (c) (3) Federal tax-exempt status, and a business bank account has been opened, complete with its own debit card and a professional website. We were well on our way to helping our first Border Collie in need, and we did...
Our Clancy always took care of us, along with all his playmates and the frequent visitors to the farm, keeping an ever-vigilant eye on his domain. His dream was to introduce people and dogs in need, and I will tell you there is plenty of work out there. There may be challenges ahead for us, but we, as a group, are ready for whatever may come our way. 100 percent of all money raised is spent on helping dogs that can't speak or heal themselves. We do this because they have given so much to us; it's only fair.
Bringing Help and Hope to Border Collies and their Owners in Times of Need through Rescue Efforts or Veterinary Care Assistance.
We miss Clancy, as do others. We pine over his death, but now know that because of him, many other dogs will be rescued or given the medical attention they need through donations and support from others. Our beautiful Clancy will live on through the Border Collies he will save…
I was the protector of the pack, but more importantly, I am a mentor to the rescued dogs that enter our gates at Dogwood Ridge, and now Clancy will lead and watch from afar.
Clancy's Grandparents and Great Grandparents
2004 International Supreme Champion
98/96 Scotland National Champion
1994 Irish National Champion
94/91 International Supreme Champion
92/89 International Supreme Champion
1985 Welsh National Champion
1984 England National Sheep Dog Champion
And it continues until 1925
"Mom... Dad..., I'll be watching and waiting, but there is more to come." Clancy…
Note... I have put off writing this story because it meant facing this reality again. I did not write this to make you sad but to help me heal, and hopefully, you will appreciate what you have with your beloved four-legged friend… I know I do and did… Ken
Follow us and the dogs on Clancy's Dream.
