As most people know, if you have ever met me in person or had a lengthy phone call with me, I do enjoy talking! In reality, I am a very private person and dislike being in the spotlight and being in front of people. I write my thoughts and can communicate better this way because I feel safer. Often, my writing affects me more than it does others, and I stumble through it because of the tears and pain it evokes. But here goes...

I did not know Charlie Kurk, nor did I listen to his videos. I really didn't have an opinion of what he did. From the brief exposure I had with him, he seemed like a good person and was very passionate about his faith. We are all passionate about something; mine is saving dogs, but maybe I need to change that. Before Clancy's Dream, I'm sure it was something else. I grew up in a firm Baptist upbringing as a small child, and I remember our pastor. Brother Bobby Brooks was a fire and brimstone preacher, and when you left the service, you KNEW you were going to hell because of the pulpit pounding he gave the congregation if you didn't repent. Funny how those things stick with you.

My religious daily life is mediocre at best, and as I get older, things change, and priorities change too. We all have our best friends in different stages of our lives, and every one of mine has passed away, and every one was younger than me. That alone puts a different mindset on my life. Wow, am I next? My father was in perfect health, and we were cutting down trees, and he wanted to tell me something. He was walking toward me, and 10 feet away, he dropped dead. Two hours before that, during lunch, he told me he was ready to go to Heaven. I laughed and said we all do, and he did in front of me.

Several weeks ago, before the Charlie Kirk incident, I was sitting on the dock, looking over the water and taking in the beauty of God's creation by myself. Pondering my thoughts, I knew this world is in a state of decline, and it needed a change. Drifting back to Brother Bobby Brooks' "Hell and Damnation" days, Baptist churches would hold a Revival to stir the spirit, aiming to renew the faith of their believers. It often involves passionate preaching, worship, and a call for repentance and spiritual awakening among the congregation, and Bobby Brooks could certainly do it.

This world needs a revival, and sitting in the beauty of "my" world, I bowed my head and prayed, "God, we need a revival, we need it now more than ever." God works in mysterious ways and works in his own time. On September 10, the revival began. While I don't believe it was just me who had much to do with it, thousands of other prayers were also a factor, because I believe we can all agree that things are not good. Tuning in to Charlie Kirk's memorial on the TV, I observed some of the attendees and listened to what they had to say. One common bond was that the speakers all seemed to have a biblical faith, but were very reserved in the past. A few even said that in the last week, they had spoken more about God and Jesus than in their entire political career, and I was somewhat proud of them for doing so. It got me thinking, "Yeah, I'm right here too." I thought.

I have had many chances to die. In my lifetime, I have had 11 near-death experiences. I have been shot at several times as a policeman, involved in horrible car wrecks, ICU and hospital stays for weeks and months, and had a stroke because of a lack of oxygen. Elaine once watched doctors perform CPR on me in the ER, where they lost me twice. The last thing I remember was the doctor straddling me on the table, my eyes went dim, and I was gone. On another emergency trip to the ER, the doctor told me to "make your peace, you're not leaving this hospital," and they did. My family was called in during the middle of the night, and as I was lying on my bed, drifting in and out of a coma, I remember so vividly my prayers and thoughts. My only prayer to God was asking for forgiveness, not to spare me. I was ready. I told God I was ashamed, so ashamed and embarrassed that I didn't do more for his cause, and I still am.

I couldn't care less about your lifestyle, how you live, or what you do. I do care about "your forever", but that's your decision. It's not my intention to lecture or convict anyone, but rather to share with you about God and the sacrifice of Jesus for us. Ultimately, it's your decision, and you need to be comfortable with your choice. Life is hard and unfair, I know all too well, but I am truly blessed, and so are we all. Things can always be better, and they can always be worse. Why have I made it through all these experiences? And yes, I have asked God, 'What is my plan?' I still don't know. I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, He died for our sins and was resurrected; we are saved by grace, not by works, and I believe in an eternity. Am I worthy? No, but by grace we are saved.

We often seem to make things more complicated than they are. Heaven and hell are real, Jesus is our Lord and Savior. Satan will put any obstacle in front of us to pull us away from God. Bobby Brooks had a significant impact on my life. Who would have thought that a 4-year-old boy would think about his sermons nearly 70 years later? A revival has started! Amen