Once Upon a Throne...

In my years of experience being around dogs, there is always something in the back of your mind, that you don't really want to talk about. You know it happens to everyone and there is usually nothing you can do to prevent it.  It’s that little secret, that you would only share with your best friend or at a party, when you are trying to impress someone or had “one too many”. I will tell you, the next day, you will regret it and wish you could turn back the hands of the time and start over. Even if it means avoiding the person you spoke to the night before.  Hopefully it won't have been the office or neighborhood tattle-tail and you had just given them enough fodder for a whole week of stories .  We all have one of those experiences and will always avoid “that” conversation and pretend it never happened…but it does… we can only hide our heads in shame.

We all know that Border Collies are the smartest dogs and according to “Entirely  Pets”, the Collie and German Shepherd are at the top of the list of the most loyal dogs as well.  This can really be a dilemma and let me tell you why.  Just yesterday, as I was going to the “necessary” room and as usual, my many shadows followed close behind me.  I have tried to shut them out, but they always bark, whine or stretch their paws under the door, while I’m trying to enjoy a moment of private time which is pretty much impossible in these situations.

But now I pose this question to you, my readers, my expert pet-loving friends. Why do dogs always want to follow us into the bathroom, especially when they know we're going to have to stand or sit on that porcelain throne? 

Back to yesterday's tale, as I was being a stand-up guy in the "necessary" room, (I had snuck in without anyone hearing me), they were in the other part of the house and I thought, I was getting away with the whole process without being pestered by pets.  Several of the dogs zoomed into the room and began bouncing  about. One even excitingly snuck up behind me and poked his cold nose straight into my derriere and what a surprise it was and it misdirected my task at hand.  Once while I was reading and enjoying a sit, three of the dogs met me on their level and wanted their head scratched which is fine, but I'm trying to balance three heads and a book, I found myself trying to alternate the petting as one gets impatient and pokes their head up through the leg holes of my undergarments.  Then one will jump up on my leg getting some "real" face to face time because we're on the same level… so much for relaxing… and I have to grab my house shoes before one gets carried off.

While the bathroom is much more than a “bath” room, it’s a meeting place for the dogs especially if someone is using it.  It has a China porcelain dish that stays cooler longer and the water is magically refreshed several times a day. To add to their delight the porcelain adds no taste to the water and it can  get no better than this!  Dutchess has learned the art of raising the seat for a quick water refreshment, but to the others, the porcelain dog dish is blocked because they can't raise the lid. The other dogs can always refresh their thirst by eagerly licking water from someone who has just exited the bath or shower and by licking they can even assist with the drying process.  Although you have  just washed and cleaned yourself, the dogs are only assisting with your cleanliness efforts…just their way of helping...

So from their point of view, the bathroom is a wonderful place to entertain, drink, snuggle, play fetch and "surprise" you and basically just have a whale of a time.  Afterall, it even includes toys to play with...  
Note to dogs:  While I so enjoy playing with you and receiving all the kisses you have, just in case you don't know this, I do not enjoy ten dogs crowded around me in a semicircle with several paws in my underwear. Can you please...please give me one minute alone in the "necessary" room and I promise I'll be out as soon as I can...
Ken
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