Let's Go Eat

Elaine has traveled out of town to see her grandchildren for the weekend.  Someone has to stay at the farm and take care of the dogs, and I guess it has to be me.  We had an uneventful Friday, and everything went smoothly until bedtime.  Snack time went as usual, and everyone lined up in a half circle and got their treat several times.  Several days ago, we had popcorn for our nightly snack, and in a few days, I had TWO new crowns. 

On a customary evening after the dog’s last potty break and it’s bedtime, Elaine will say “let’s go to bed” and half of the dogs will follow her upstairs to her room, and I will settle down for a night of documentaries or some mindless TV show and have a “take the edge off” cocktail.  The only thing I miss when she goes to bed is the shotgun questions about the show or life in general.  I’ve learned to pause the Television so I could give her my full attention and this feature must have invented by a man.

Bedtime rolled around, and as usual, I climbed into bed, but tonight things were a little different.  JoJo was on her customary pillow next to me and was crowded by Whiskey.  Doc was at the foot of the bed which left no room for Gabby but she squeezed in.  Annie jumped onto the bed and with both sides filled up, she laid on top of me on my chest.  I will tell you, this was just a little crowded, but I toughed it was for the greater good, or maybe it was that extra “take the edge off” cocktail.   

Sleep came quickly, and I was wrapped in love, to say the least, and a bunch of dogs and fur.  After several hours, I woke and realized I need to go to the “necessary” room because it was necessary.  Grabbing the top of the covers, as usual, I threw them back, but nothing happened and I thought of this again.

Clowns to the left of me!
Jokers to the right!
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.

'Cause I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wondering what it is I should do.
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face.
Losing control and running all over the place.

“I can’t move” I shouted, I must be paralyzed I thought.  It felt like I had I had hundreds of pounds of weight on me.  After coming to my sanities, I reached to the right and to the left, and I did have hundreds of pounds on me, and it was fuzzy and furry.  The dogs that usually sleep with Elaine had traveled to my bed and were laying on top of the covers, trapping me under them, and I couldn’t move.  “Come, guys, let me up,” I ask.  Nothing… they were in a deep sleep.  “HEY, come on guys, let me up” a second time, nothing… no one even raised their head.  I can figure this out I thought, I grabbed the headboard and tried to pull my self up and tried to wiggle my self to the top of the sheet.  There is a lot of friction with that many dogs and bedclothes around you, and it didn’t work.  “GUYS LET ME UP.” Now I am getting a little concerned.

Putting my thinking cap on I decided a new plan of action is needed.  Trying to escape a bed coffin with hundreds of pounds of dog weight on you because you can’t lift up the covers along with some exhausted dogs is quite the challenge, but I need to be smarter than the dogs.  Not only do I need to escape, but I also need to go to the “necessary” room, and nothing is getting easier it seems.  Thinking as fast as I could for a solution, I got it!  The perfect thing and hopefully it will work and if I know some of them, it will.

Always ready to eat
“LET’S GO EAT,” I screamed, and in a flash, ears perked up, and dogs stood up twisting in circles, and a happy dance was in full swing, one dog jumps off the bed, and then the others followed and I know I was saved.  In the excitement and activity of the moment, dogs were intertwined in the sheets along with me.  I found myself turned upside down with my feet still on the bed and my head near the floor.  The “necessary” room was not as necessary at the moment.

All in all, things worked out and after everyone got fed, back to bed was in order.  The only change made was that I finished the night in the recliner.  Ken