Saturday

Orange Crocks...

“Hello” I said to the caller, “Hey…there is a small fawn inside our fence and one of the dogs is chasing it.” Elaine exclaimed while she was pulling away from the driveway going to work.  I had only been awake for just a few minutes and was making myself a cup of coffee.  Going into survival mode,  I grabbed my 38 chief special revolver that is hidden at the back door for emergencies and slipped on the only shoes that were anywhere near me, my famous orange Crocks and headed out to the far end of the property where I could hear a dog going through the woods barking after something but this time, I knew what it was.  


In one hand, I held my 38 snub-nose revolver but pointing it in the air and the other hand was holding up my loose fitting sleeping pants and ran toward the distance barking.  In my mind, I could see a vicious dog tearing into a poor innocent fawn or a mother deer tearing into a dog that was protecting her young and the latter is the most probable.  The good part, there were only two dogs outside at the time, Clancy and a friend’s dog that was staying with us for the night and was going home that morning. 

The grass was wet because of the heavy dew on the ground and I was running with one hand pointed up holding the gun, the other hand holding my pants and my feet shuffling and scooting to keep my shoes on because my feet were wet.  Note to readers; running with Crocks that are wet inside, slick on the bottom, wet grass with no arms that can balance you can be dangerous. 


Once I reached the lake, and knowing it would be shorter to go down the levy of the dam rather than around, I headed down the slope.  About 20 feet into my decline, I knew I was in trouble as I hadn’t slowed down at all, in fact I was speeding up and unable to stop.  My little feet were high stepping as fast as I could manage especially with one arm in the air with my coveted 38 and one hand holding up my pants…  Note to readers; do not run fast down a hill on wet grass with orange Crocks with no hands for balance, it can be dangerous. 

By the grace of the Crock or dog gods, I made it down the 50 foot embankment without falling down.  I still had to run up another hill and nearly five hundred feet to get close to the dog and fawn.  The barking was continuing and my mind was running wild as to who was in trouble and didn’t realize it was probably me.

I saw the spotted fawn and the guest dog.  It appeared that there was no problem but the dog was curious and no mamma deer was anywhere to be seen… Whew…  The guest dog turned toward the house and started running which I assumed he was wanting to get breakfast.  The fawn was scared and nearly came up to me looking for help, we were close to one of the twelve foot gates on the farm that exited out of the property.  Case closed… open the gate and walk back to the kennel putting the guest dog up and the fawn would surly walks back to mamma deer when it has a chance. 

So off to the house I went, my gun arm by my side, my other arm holding my pants up and dew in my crocks.  Out of breath I walked down one levy and back up the one I had just flown down.  The guest dog was standing at the kennel door but when I was about 10 feet from the dog, his instinct kicked in and off he went as fast as he had ever run.  I don’t know if it was “get the fawn” or “I’m out of here” and I suspect it was the latter. 

Hodad
I looked down at the ground at my wet orange Crocks… then toward the heavens and said   “SHI……. Sugar”… and off I went back toward the open gate and I just knew that I would never find a running dog in the four thousand undeveloped acres of the Hoosier Nation Forrest.  I took about ten steps, kicked off my orange Crocks, threw the gun on the ground and started running like a man except I was still holding up my pants up.  I again ran down the hill, up the hill and over the levy toward the gate.  Again by the fate of the dog gods, the guest dog turned away from the open gate for some reason and sprinted off in another direction.  The gate is over a small knoll and I could not see it but I’m sure the dog didn’t either.  I kicked in everything I had, running the last 50 yards like a high school kid, topped the hill and slammed the 5” high gate shut, hopping the dog was still inside.
I walked back to the house not seeing the dog but hopping he was inside the gate.  I had to take a few breaks just to catch my breath and when I got near the house, sitting on the back porch wagging his tail was a very happy well exercised dog…

Moral of this story;
Don’t run in wet Crocks down a hill with no hands...
Don’t leave a gate open when you want to keep something inside...
Don’t expect a curious dog to mind...
And why would I take a 38 Chief Special revolver with me.  I’ve tried to answer that myself.  I might as well have taken a picnic basket, a book or crossword puzzle… Maybe I should have had that first cup of coffee… and pants that would stay up…

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