How Many Kisses?

Our dogs are so expressive and with their kisses, they are so different and do things in such a different way.  Take Abby for example, she will lay next to the bed when I am asleep and when she hears my eyelids open, like a jack-in-the-box she springs into the “soon to be” war zone and will place one paw on one side of my head and the other on the other and with her Brillo pad tongue washing my face even if it doesn’t need it and at times nearly taking my breath and getting my pillow wet, but to her, she is giving me much needed attention that I’m sure is needed according to her. 
Tools of the Trade
  But how many kisses a day is enough?  One, Two, tens or even hundreds?  I can safely say that someone upstairs feels that I need thousands because that’s what I get.  I would venture to say that nearly every aspect with my dogs is somehow filled with wet, sloppy, messy, cluttered kisses.  As I stop and think about it, they are like a forever fountain of dog slobber that is painted with a very long warm paint brush always on the move.  Not only is it wet and slimy, it can reach from one ear to the other, going straight through my head, not to mention cleaning my nose and mouth hole along the way when it is least expected.  Don’t take this wrong, it’s something that I don’t advocate, it just happens in the most unusual times and when I least expect it, which is often for affection or just a cleanup.  At times they will put on their “Red Cross Dog Hat” and clean and treat any booboo, cut or pain making the recipient relaxed and pain free like no other medication can.  It’s nothing for Clancy to lick a cut or bug bite when he feels the need to take care of me and I can honestly tell you, it does make me feel better and in a weird way, I like it.
I'm Ready...
There are many ways you can get kisses, tying your shoes, sitting on the couch, fixing a pain, waking you up, going to sleep and anytime you’re down, they seem to be there with the right amount of sugar.  Probably the most aggressive time I get the attention is when I walk out on the porch with my shoes in my hand and sit on the back step trying to tie my shoes because I am in the right position.  Every dog will RUN to greet me with their tongues primed, bouncing from side to side ready to give thanks that we are going somewhere or to play and how can you turn them down? 
I would assume I get licks for every event of the way, waking up, going outside, coming in, eating every meal and every function and if you have trouble with this just having one or two dogs, try nine but the absolute worse time for this when you’re trying to have some private time in the "necessary room" and the door is left ajar and in just a flash, presto you’ve been loved by multiple tongues at the most private time of your life.
It sounds like I’m complaining about the attention or trouble with all the events or even trying to get sympathy, but if you want to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for the person who had a dog that never gets his daily quota of kisses… How many is too many?  It’s never enough…Ken