Sunday

63 Days


It happens every 6 months…either it’s a time you look forward to or it's a curse from Hades…
 If you haven't watched your calendar, you wouldn't notice that Meg, Annie AND Gabby have reached that exciting time again and you might remember that 6 months ago, we had little ones running around playing and getting into everything and I can only do this once a year and it’s NOT time... girls, did you hear me?
It started out as a typical day, girls inside, boys outside and then it was time to change, boys inside, girls outside, sounds so simple right…wrong.  So here I am, I have Doc on an orange leash and I am transferring him to a sizeable kennel so he will be happy.  We need to stop right there, Doc is NEVER happy when he is in, and a romantic female dog is outside, NEVER.  At any rate, he bolted from my grasp during a weak moment and off he ran toward the girls who were playing thirty feet away from us dragging a bright orange leash behind him.  Gabby is leading the way and Doc is following…It looked like an orange lightning bolt traveling down the driveway, giggling all the way…I just know it…

Most people don’t really consider the drive that a male dog has when it comes to his romances.  I will tell you, it is very strong and I really mean strong.  On one occasion, Clancy was behind a 5 foot fence and he wanted out to frolic with the girls.  After trying to get under the fence, he started biting it and repeatability bit into a chain link fence and broke the wire.  He continued to work at it until he could squeeze his body through the hole he had made in the middle of the fence and I have the hair that was left on the fence.  Sixty three days later we had 7 pups.  If you want to make the world’s strongest jail, put a male dog inside and female dog outside and watch how he escapes and keep it up until he can’t.  No human could ever get out…but a little known fact, it is the female that is the aggressor too, sometimes she is worse than the male is!  Why do you think we call Dutchess the “party girl”?
Gabby…come here…G A B B Y come here.... down the driveway they ran, my mind raced, what to do…what to do… my 18 year old mind said “Run” as I started running.  The lovebirds would run about 100 feet and get ahead and stop and prance and play and Gabby would act real interested…OMG…”NO” I yelled and off they went in another direction, Gabby and the orange lightning bolt right behind, both turning their head and looking at me and again, I knew they were giggling and saying, “how long do you think he can run like that” to each other.  

Well this old man kept up,   for at least 10 seconds.  Through the woods I could see the orange lightning bolt slicing through the trees.  We were about 6 acres away, I was ninety six years old and it sounded like I was a steam engine puffing so much.  I was out of breath, weak legged, angry, annoyed and all the words that went with it and I knew I was going to die.  I can just see it now…”Retired Detective died from unknown reasons” in the local paper and Elaine would sell the new pups all the while wondering what I was doing on the other side of the big lake by myself, but that was not going to happen…I pulled up my sock on my shoeless right foot, because my shoe was in the woods somewhere on the path and was off again to catch the orange lightning bolt that was still running and stopping for a little kiss.  As I ran, I really did wonder what the neighbors thought of the shoeless wild man running madly through the woods screaming at nothing but a dog with an orange leash.  Little did they know the real story. 
After what seemed like 4 days we had worked our way all over the farm and ended up back at the house.  In my mind, I was grateful that if I did die, I would be home and they could find me.
I was done…No more was left, It is finished…I went in the walkout door and walked up the step to the first floor, one shoe on, one off, reached on top of the cabinet and pulled it out.  I was lucky, I always saw Gabby running and the orange lightning bolt right in-front, but it was over, only several steps were left in my legs.  I walked on the porch and pointed it in the air, toward the sun and “let it go” The sound of thunder roared from its mouth, belching a 2 foot stream of fire.  The S&W 357 said its peace.  Not a sound was heard anywhere, nor did the wind even blow, but what I did hear, was the sound of a dog running and as it got closer, the lightning bolt ran to the kennel and went in…Luckily, Doc is a little apprehensive about gunshots…and as I turned the latch shut, I patted him on the head and took off his orange lightning bolt, nothing more to say, just Mother Nature at work…

Epilog…

I did find my shoe and then my sock and when a neighbor asked if I knew anything about a “wild” man, I just snickered and asked…”Where did you hear that?”
In Sixty Three days, we'll know for sure…

Moral of the Story

No matter where you start, you may return back to the same place if you don't change your ways… Ken