Sunday

Is it Worth it?

The last two weeks have been very busy and I have been on a roller coaster with many hills and many low valleys.  Sometimes, I don’t know if there are more ups or more downs and this week, I am starting work on the 2012 taxes for the dogs including all the receipts for sales, boarding and ALL expenses, which were many.  This has been very expensive year for medical procedures and fencing and sometimes I have to wonder if it is worth doing all the work.  As you know, I am a stay home dad and dog parent to seven border collies and both are full time jobs.  Not only do I do these duties, I grade the roads with my tractor weekly for about 250 acres which includes removing any snow that might come our way or rain damage.  Working the farm of any duties that might crop up, all in all, I am a very busy man.  Projects that are coming up are the chickens for the new chicken coop along with the sort and sales of the eggs and the planning for the dog reunion this coming year not including anything else that I might venture into. 
As I sat and ponder my thoughts, I try to reflect on trying to make my life better, more productive and to asset everyone around me, including calls from all over the states about BC’s and their problems, but as everyone does I also feel unproductive and distant at times and just get fed up with life and want to sit and do nothing.
Two weeks ago, when Molly had all the problems she had during birth, I usually don’t post such things on our Facebook page but a few friends found out and would send me personal messages because they were interested, and to save time, I just started to answer them in the open forum.  I never imagined the results I would get from all over the world and at times, there were over 25,000 people reading, watching, posting and sending me private messages.  I have never seen an outpouring of concern, prayers and just best wishes from people that truly cared about a problem that I thought I was handling by myself.  Most did not know me or Molly and some even started the message “You don’t know me but I’ve been where you’re at”.  Several Vet techs would contact me about her progress.  Once, even our Vet, Dr “D” called because he did not see the daily update and just wanted to “check to see” and I told him I just didn’t have time to post, but I soon did, people truly cared. 
This brings me back to my point, is it worth it, all the trouble, mental pain, cost and time?  As I write this, Dutchess is laying a ball on my lap with Meggie standing by my side pushing my arm up so I can’t type because they want to be with me and hoping we can play ball.  I actually laughed out loud on Wednesday while I was sitting in the middle of the garage floor splitting kindling wood for the fireplace and as soon as I sat down, Clancy put his nose under my arm, Abbie put her head on my leg, Dutchess sat on the other side, putting her paw on my other leg and just when I thought I couldn’t handle any more, Annie came behind me and put both front feet on my shoulders and licked my neck.  At that point, I just stopped and we all played and rubbed bellies.
But is it really worth it?  Again as I sit in the recliner Gabby will runs as fast as she can, jumping in my lap, turns and spins settling down for a nap as we watch the news or while I’m in the hot tub, Meg will always jump behind me and lick my ears.  Once, I was so tired and it felt so good, I just let her and I will tell you, she did a good job.
Molly is getting back to normal and will soon get her stitches out.  I won’t let her jump up on my leg because of the stitches as she usually does, but she will still paw at my leg wanting some affection and attention.  I tell her “no jump” but I will lie down on the floor and she will curl in my arms and nestle next to me, me giving her what she wants and she giving me what I need.
To answer the question, Yes it’s worth it, I only wish I could give more, because they give their all.
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."  Anatole France
Thanks to everyone who prayed, contacted, consoled and even cried with me, I don't know how to thank you but to say, I am so grateful that there are people like you, you made things better.  Border Collies are different and Border Collie people are too and I am grateful.  Thank you again, Ken