Sunday

I Can't Help It....

Elaine says I have too many. She also says it cost too much and she has to help me keep it all together. She says I am getting too old for all of them and I should think about cutting back, but I can't, I just can't. They make me feel alive and it gets me out of bed in the mornings, but it’s really a curse. I will lay in bed at night thinking about them and will try to talk myself out of if, knowing full well I will never stop until it's too late or it kills me. I can't help it, I just can't stop. Winter is the worst time for me. Maybe it's because I am cooped up with nothing to do and I get bored and my mind starts to wonder and I will daydream for hours on end. I have had sleepless night just thinking about it and what am I going to do. When I have the desire real bad, I can't sleep or I will get up at 4 AM just to think about it or decide what I will do next.
I didn’t always this problem and sometimes it’s worse than other times. I don’t know what triggers it but it’s very real.
Hello, my name is Kenny and I am addicted to projects……
OK, OK, I know it’s not really that bad but sometimes I think I am. Let me explain. We have acreage here at the farm and I am a master gardener and I love to plan and make projects to do things that are useful or just pretty. I will see a landscape project somewhere else and say “I can do that”, and usually do. I have even taken a photo of someone else’s project and will build it here. I try to explain it to Elaine because in my mind’s eye, I can actually see it completed. She will shake her head and say “I trust you”, I’m sure it will be nice and then roll her eyes. In the winter, I will make a list and put it on the refrigerator, just to look at it and mull over what I will need as far as materials. Once, even my brother came to visit and while we do live in the woods, with just a clearing for the house and lakes, he said “Are you going to clear all the trees for building projects?” I knew then I had a problem and started going through the 12 step program. I guess I get it from my father, he worked for the railroad and in his spare time, or during a vacation, he would hire a building crew and build a house.
My current project is to build a walking path on the property through the woods and around the lakes for the dogs. I, as expected have a DR Self-propelled Field and Brush Mowers that will cut anything down and make a great path, so I can go anywhere.
This particular project took much longer than usual because the dogs wanted to play most of the time or anytime I’m outside. After I cut the path, I had to use chain saws and weed trimmers and while the dogs having No fear, would find a ball and bring it to me, no matter what I was doing.
Now most people would pay no attention and go on, but they have not experienced so many sad faces and beside, they just will not listen or leave me alone. Abbie and Clancy are the worst. They will set a ball in front of me or the mower and force me to move it or run over it. Now most people would not play, but knowing I would crush their hearts, I would pick it up and throw it, and in just an instance it would be back for me to repeat again and we did.
Found this nest while making the path...
All in all we all had a good time and they got some good exercise and now I can say “another project done” On to the next……Actually, I built the path for Elaine and I to walk on along with the dogs. Happy trails till we meet again....Ken