Last Tuesday on a very cold, sunny afternoon with 10 inches of snow and below freezing temperature, I hobbled out to a play areas on the farm because the dogs needed some action. The dogs and I played for as long as we could which meant as long as I could tolerate it because it was very cold. When I gave the command “let’s go to the house” off they all went running through the woods back toward the house. It was close to their dinner time so we went in the direction of the kennel. As fast as they could, they galloped through obstacles, each other, hills and dales making it a race to get back first.
In the kennel, each dog has their own stall and will stand in front of “their” door and wait until I open the door. I start on one end, letting each of them in as Dutchess, Meggie, Dahlia and all the others are safely inside. The last door is Molly’s stall, it is bigger because she is privileged because she is my Heart Dog and the oldest. When I got to her door she wasn't there which is most unusual… “Molly, Molly, MOLLY where are you”, as I look around.
As a young father I have been here before when the kids wandered off for just a second, the sudden panic of not being able to find your child and loved one is pure panic. The fear of fear runs through your heart and mind and you think the worse or at least I do but everything always turns out alright and that sudden panic is quickly resolved when you find them, but this is not the case today. I went to the back door of our house and knew she would be waiting for me. “Molly, MOLLY”. She was nowhere to be found. I searched the entire house and she always comes to me, always, and now my mind starts to work, but not in a good way.
Earlier I remember she ran in another direction, not with the pack and blazing a different trail which is not is unusual for her. What if she didn't make it to the kennel, what if she somewhere in the woods? She always comes to me, always… “MOLLY, come here” as I started my trek to find her.
|Molly...A Mother and family member|
About 4 weeks earlier, my knee went out and after several Doctor Visits and medications, it still excruciatingly hurts but I had to find Molly and now the sun was starting to go down. Knowing she wasn't in the house, she had to be outside. I grabbed a walking stick for balance and off in the 10 inches of snow I went and in my heart, I know this didn't look good. I had visions of her down in the snow from an injury or heart problem and this drove my determination even harder but the questions still popped up in my mind. “Molly…… Molly…… Molly, where are you, MOLLY come on girl.”
My whole leg hurt and I don’t know if the cold made it better or worse but it hurt and the deep snow and heavy polar boots made it unbearable because I had to bend my knee further. After several trips around the farm on foot and walking the fence line, nothing. “MOLLY…MOLLY…MOLLY”, she has to be somewhere, good or bad, she has to be somewhere, but where. If she is not outside, maybe she is still in the house? I searched again, went out the back door and went in the garage, nothing. “MOLLY…MOLLY…MOLLY where are you” and I walked around the wrap-around porch. Nothing so off to the woods I went again and things looked very dim and so was the weather, it was getting dark.
|Clancy and Molly|
I can’t give up, I got to find her or at least her injured or lifeless body. “MOLLY…MOLLY, PLEASE MOLLY GIRL where are you?” After a trip around the farm again I need help and knew it. As I walked back to the house in the now zero weather, I was freezing but my heart was burning. I was now headed to call my neighbors as soon as I reached home, It was my last step. Once to the house, just to double check, I went in the garage for that last look, nothing, zilch, naught. Our garage is attached with a utility room and I thought I would cut through to use the phone to call for help. When I opened the door, my very frantic black and white heart dog was glad to see me. “MOLLY… you're safe” and bent down on my throbbing knee and kissed her head and all anxiety flew out the room. As I stood up, she danced a wiggle dance and put her head on my leg. “Let’s go get warm girl” and we did. I assume Molly had gone to the house, gone through the dog door on the garage, pushed her way into the house through to the utility room and the door shut behind her and she was trapped. Searching the house three times and the farmland 4 times, the utility room was the only place I did not venture because she could not get in there or so I thought.
That very night when my leg was wrapped and elevated to sooth it, for extra heat and comfort in several ways, I had a black and white furry companion lying in my lap looking into my eyes and both of us thought the same thing, "Don't ever leave me" but I know that day will come too soon no matter how far away it is and it will never be forgotten, but "that" night it was only Molly's lap. My Molly Girl… Ken
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